Humour

An English baron came back home from his hunting expedition and found his wife in the arms of the local Bishop. To this he reacted in a strange way. He opened the window of his bedroom, the scene of the episcopal escapade, and began to bless the passers-by, as a Bishop would. This elicited indignant protests from the Bishop against a baron usurping his function. Thereupon the baron replied: "My Lord, if you are doing my work, shouldn’t I do yours?"

- Arthur Koestler

Tribute to Bernake

Dashing in the air,
In a dollar-stocked plane
O'er the Wall St. he went
Laughing but in vain

Dollars on his wings
Making bankers’ spirits bright
What fun it was to throw
A doomed dollar that night

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Santa ‘Ben’ is coming to town,
Riding on his plane

A month or two ago
We thought we'd take the ride
And soon recession came
No place was left to hide

The cost is 'zero' now
So borrow as much as you can
And if you can’t repay
Think of ‘Ben’ again

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Santa ‘Ben’ is coming to town,
Riding on his plane.

equitymaster

Mattress in use: In USA

Most investors know Warren Buffett for his investing acumen. But few know that his sense of humor is equally legendary. The directors of his company, Berkshire Hathaway got a taste of the same when they received an email from the Oracle of Omaha. On learning that the US Treasury sold US$ 32 bn by way of 4-week bills at a yield of 0% - yes, you’ve read it right – he is believed to have said, "This should be bullish for Berkshire. With great foresight, I long ago entered the mattress business in a big way through our furniture operation. Now mattresses have become fully competitive as a place to put your money, and sales will soon take off." Indeed, with investors getting virtually nothing from their fixed return investments by way of interest rates, putting once hard earned money under a mattress seems a far better idea than depositing the same in banks.

October is a dangerous month

October is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

- Mark Twain

Look for the big

Our exemplar is the older man who crashed his grocery cart into that of a much younger fellow while both were shopping. The elderly man explained apologetically that he had lost track of his wife and was preoccupied searching for her. His new acquaintance said that by coincidence his wife had also wandered off and suggested that it might be more efficient if they jointly looked for the two women. Agreeing, the older man asked his new companion what his wife looked like. "She’s a gorgeous blonde," the fellow answered, "with a body that would cause a bishop to go through a stained glass window, and she’s wearing tight white shorts. How about yours?" The senior citizen wasted no words: “Forget her, we’ll look for yours.

- Warren Buffett